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Hey everyone, it\u2019s your beloved Tony the Tiger. I want you to know that we have another election next year on June 02nd<\/sup>. Since you all love and respect me, I\u2019m asking for your vote. As you know, since 1952, I have represented America\u2019s brand. This fact is undisputable. I am further elated to announce that major donors, special interests, super elites, outside political action committees, and of course our granddaddy, the local GOP and Democratic Parties have all welcomed me back to another victory this June in the City Council elections. Listen everyone, we cannot lose. We are invincible and almighty.<\/p>\n But beware, there is a generic brand of frosted flakes appearing in San Diego grocery stores. I\u2019m not worried over competition however, because I have had your unwavering trust for seventy-five years. You never let me down at the polls because of this trust. Afterall, would you vote against mama and apple pie? Of course not! Please do me a favor and do not read anything I write, just vote early and vote often, ok? Trust me in being honest and genuine because I am the ONLY Tony the Tiger.<\/p>\n Geez, I feel so powerful and positive over the election because year after year, decade after decade you put me in office. If I was a basketball player, I would be the slam dunk candidate. I feel sorry for the generic ignored candidates. They get no respect but as they say, that\u2019s baseball.<\/p>\n These generic people running are worthless as we all agree. No one in America votes for a non-brand political wannabe. So, as you always do, never read a word they write. These candidates can never be elected because in America we the people always support the familiar. We already know our boy Tony is going to get elected.<\/p>\n Just a few final words, dear supporters. We don\u2019t like weird names. We don\u2019t like independent thinkers because they create problems with our status quo public policy. We don\u2019t like candidates who take public transportation and refuse a great juicy pension. I know everyone believes me as you have since 1952.<\/p>\n But I must be honest. There is this guy born in 1953 who is a candidate running against me and he eats generic frosted flakes. He is one year younger than me, and he scares me. Never vote for those who espouse the truth.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dan Smiechowksi is a candidate for San Diego City Council District 2<\/p>\n
We never lose elections because America never refutes the brand.<\/p>\n